Pretending

So sometimes when I can't sleep at night I like to just pick up a pencil and paper (or in these modern days, a keyboard and a blank word document) and write. Sometimes I write the feelings of my heart, sometimes I write random nonsense, sometimes they are one in all, and sometimes I just write about whatever. It's just fun to write...so here is tonights product. And just so you know, it's not meant to be as depressing as it sounds :)

As she wandered around catching up with good friends,
introducing herself to never met family and reacquainting with old,
she forced a smile upon her face and held the tears in.
But in her heart no smile was near.
Sure she was happy for the lovely couple of whose day it was,
for they are standing next to eternity.
They deserve the love they have found.
They are happy,
and they show it.
Because they don't have to pretend.
They don't have to pretend that they are alright,
that the smile on their face is sincere,
that they are content with the situation they are in.
They don't have to pretend that deep down inside,
their heart is not shattered into a million tiny pieces
longing for what seems to be the day that will never come.
The day that he returns to pick those pieces up
and glue them back together with his love that she once held.
The day she can put a real smile on her face.
The day she can answer yes to her wise friend's question "Are you okay?"
and not have to respond the same to his next "Are you lying to me?"
The day when she can stand next to him
and finally be standing next to eternity.
That will be the day,
Her day.
The day she has to pretend no more.

Officer Bylund

Ha ha, that sounds funny. But one day in the near future, that is what I will be known as! Yes, I start at the law enforcement academy on September 9th!!! I'm very nervous but rather excited as well. I have to wear a military style uniform with military style boots, polished and everything. I'm sure it will be quite the site...but hey, watch your rear view mirrors because in a year it could be me pulling you over! :)